Touchline ETIQUETTE - why do behaviours change and is it ok?

4 Minute Read (Re-written thread)

Through my years working in the Care industry and other services—supporting vulnerable individuals and their families — I’ve developed a decent awareness of group dynamics, body language, and the importance of clear communication with people from all walks of life. That background has shaped how I observe human behaviour in football environments.

One thing that continues to fascinate me around the football environment, and especially match days, is how dramatically a person’s character can change the moment they step near a football pitch.

​Whether they’re a spectator, coach, manager, or player, something happens when they cross into the emotional space around those white touchlines.

People who are usually calm, friendly, and genuine can suddenly shift into a more negative alter ego during a match. It’s baffling, and I still struggle to rationalise why it happens.

Across Melbourne this past year, I have watched many junior and senior games. The opportunities for people to play football are enormous and continue to grow every year.

But with that growth comes pressure: our volunteer workforce is stretched thin, and clubs rely heavily on people giving their time, energy, and commitment to keep football thriving in their communities. Their contribution deserves enormous respect.

Every weekend, as I watch junior games across Melbourne, one question keeps coming back to me:

Are we truly providing a player centric environment that supports young people development? - Holistically? 

Football environments can change instantly: a brilliant goal, a poor tackle, a disallowed goal, a referee’s decision, adult behaviour, or even a moment of frustration. These moments shape the tone around the pitch.

For me, creating a healthy environment isn’t just the responsibility of referees.

Coaches and managers have a huge influence on the learning atmosphere players experience.

This brings me to Coaches’ Touchline Etiquette.

Spectators often only notice coaches during the big moments—before kick‑off, at half‑time, during substitutions, and at full‑time. Very few adults around the pitch actually hear the technical information coaches give players throughout the game. I’d guesstimate more than 85% of people don’t pick up any of it.

Recently, I’ve spoken with coaches from Melbourne clubs and others colleagues from back in the UK, their experiences vary, but, the challenges sound all too familiar. Lack of self‑reflection from individuals; concerns about poor touchline behaviours; and acknowledgment and reaffirmation of coaches who model positive conduct.

From what I’ve personally witnessed at this moment in time, I’m not convinced we consistently provide environments that truly support youth player development. 

There is a lot of good work happening every week, and progress is being made. But there is also far more we can do.

Human nature means we notice poor behaviour quickly. Although what one person sees as acceptable may be completely unacceptable to another. As a coaching community, we should all be aligned. Our personalities may differ, but our standards—our “lyrics”—should be the same: shared boundaries, shared ethics, shared expectations, and a commitment to promoting positive sporting conduct and fair play.

The biggest gap I see is education. Coach education.

Why does someone want to coach?
Do they hold current Working with Children Check certification and Coaching qualification?
How do they stay up to date with coaching methods and best practice?
How do they impart knowledge with players, parents, and other coaches?
These questions come to mind when I witness poor touchline behaviour.

Of course, I have much to learn too. And I'm putting myself out there. Any way possible, with those far more knowledgable than I - in an effort to learn and improve and to pass this new found knowledge forward.

Observing coaches constantly shout commands that remove decision‑making from players; coaches favouring “star players” while neglecting others; coaches pacing the sideline and constantly talking and commentating every kick of the ball; coaches making incorrect offside calls; coaches intimidating opposition players; coaches criticising other coaches during team talks; and more.

A pattern emerges: questionable touchline behaviour often comes from coaches who haven’t upskilled or attended recent coaching courses or development opportunities.

Coach education creates a ripple effect. It improves the coach, which improves the players, which improves the parents, which improves the environment, and their club.

That ripple can transform match days into genuinely player‑centred learning spaces.

Fortunately, I’ve also seen outstanding examples of sporting conduct — coaches who are honest, supportive, and committed to helping players be their best. Coaches who communicate well with parents, treat officials respectfully, and create environments where young people enjoy THEIR football.

Sometimes being a coach means being brave enough to challenge poor adult behaviour, appropriately and respectfully.

Your morals and ethics will be tested, but standing firm earns respect and gives our young people the environment they deserve.

Often, people simply don’t know what they don’t know. That’s where guidance, mentorship, and education can make a real difference. And I implore you to commit to your learning for the benefit of everyone in your care. 

To finish, here are some reflective questions to consider about your own touchline etiquette:

• Touchline posture — Do you stand with arms folded?
• Body language reactions — Do you wave your arms in frustration at decisions?
• Decision‑making cues — Do you shout instructions that remove player decisions?
• Positional commands — Do you yell where players should be?
• Technical area discipline — Do you leave your technical area?
• Substitute engagement — Do you discuss game challenges with substitutes?
• Respect for officials — Do you criticise referees in front of players?
• Respect for opposition — Do you run down opposition players or coaches?
• Positive reinforcement — Do you praise good play from both teams?
• Post‑match conduct — Do you shake hands and interact positively after games?
• Game‑time fairness — Do you give players equal or at least 50% game time?
• In‑game coaching — Do you give appropriate technical snippets during play?
• Training preparation — Have you prepared players in training to reduce stress on match day?
• Freedom to play — Do you let kids express themselves without fear of mistakes?

As a coach and a parent, I hope that this small reflective blog is thought provoking enough for you to consider not only your own etiquette on the sidelines, but also helps you recognise in others, what best practice and grass roots youth development is all about.